This morning two men walk with me into the courtyard.
I am centre, they one on each side. We do not rush, we amble. We do not talk; but take in the freshness of a new day, each lost, deeply lost, in our own thoughts.
The sun lifting itself over the horizon. A lazy stretch of glowing amber soaking into the fading darker blue at the edge of night.
The sun’s rays fall upon my face, the chill air recedes, letting the light gently warm my skin.
I hold my cigarette before me, one eye squeezed shut, matching the glowing end to the suns circumference.
I breath out, slowly watching the smoke. Momentarily it is there, almost solid, a thick clump of particles hanging in the air, moving oh so slightly, before twisting away on the light breeze, dissipating and…. gone.
It is amazing how you see things when you only have the moment, how the commonplace, the everyday, the simplest of things become detailed, become special.
I would like to be gone from here, to fade into the ether like the smoke. There is much I should like to do, much I would to see and so many places I would rather be, than here.
But I have no choice. Circumstance dictates today, not I.
Far to my left the two men who walked with me into this courtyard lean against the wall, their heads turned, not looking my way, trying not to make eye contact.
Before me stand fourteen more men. One, the officer, standing at my shoulder, waiting for me to take the last drag from the cigarette.
I suck the filter, the acrid, bitter taste of tobacco flowing into my mouth. I breath in, pulling it down, down inside. A slight dizziness buzzes in my head, I purse my lips, let the smoke slowly out, a steady stream.
Flicking the butt away casually, watching as it bounces once and rolls across the compact dirt of the ground. It stops, the filter burning away. Soon it will be gone.
As shall I.
The officer offers me a black band, a blindfold. I shake my head.
Rifles levelled, pointing at the small white cotton square pinned over my heart.
I stare back, looking my executioners in the eyes.
The officer shouts his command, “Ready”
His voice echoes from the walls.
I hear a crackle, the discharge of those rifles.
I do hear not the echo reverberate from the walls of this courtyard.
© Paul White 2017